Gabe Newell vs Shigeru Miyamoto - Epic Rap Battle Parodies Season 3-1

Gabe Newell vs Shigeru Miyamoto - Epic Rap Battle Parodies Season 3-1

Gabe Newell vs Shigeru Miyamoto
Battle Information
Release Date March 14, 2014
Number 36
Views 60,000+
Length 3:17
Previous VideoGameRapBattles vs ERBParodies (Season 2 finale)
Next Oliver Twist vs Richie Rich
Other Information

B-Lo Lorbes
Justin Buckner

Rappers Bandicam 2015-01-12 16-57-27-897Bandicam 2015-01-12 16-58-33-353Bandicam 2015-01-12 16-58-49-574Bandicam 2015-01-12 16-59-22-906

Nintendo Factory
Valve Office
Mushroom Kingdom
Team Fortress 2

Gabe Newell vs Shigeru Miyamoto is the thirty-sixth battle of ERBParodies, and the first of season three. It features Valve and Steam creator, Gabe Newell, battling Nintendo founder, Shigeru Miyamoto.


Justin Buckner as Gabe Newell

B-Lo Lorbes as Shigeru Miyamoto

VideoGameRapBattles as Mario (audio) and Scout

SuperThingsOnCups as Mario (video)

MrBiggyful as Valve(cameo)


Shigeru Miyamoto:Edit

It's game time, son; I best not hear you Far Cry.

Why don't you make a good game and put down the fries?

Lets a go like Mario, even Valve fanboys think I'm awesome,

Your sex life is like your games, it will never see a threesome!

My eyes may be squinted, but you're losing from what I can see!

I'm so rich off this shit, I have my own damn Monopoly!

I'm the father of gaming, you're a Tick Tock Clock Ticker,

Your games are so boring, I'd rather play Cookie Clicker!

You are so fat and slow, everything you do gets delayed,

The amount of meme pictures isn't half the size of your weight!

You've walked right into your Doom, winning will take more than luck.

My game was art in your eyes? Well, I don't give a Fuch!

Gabe Newell:Edit

Let me explain the true meaning behind your little Wii,

Winning is impossible, when rapping against me!

You think you're in Heaven's Hands, up with the stars?

I'm surprised that terrible graphics could get you that far!

I'll chop you in half, just like my Steam game prices.

Counter Strike you with rhyme, crush you like your handheld devices!

Wii U and GameCube? I'd rather play a PlayStation.

Crushing your Super Smash Balls as I score a domination!

You lost the console war; you have no chance in this fight,

You're a mistake like those let's play copyright strikes.

I've seen better graphics on an old Tamagotchi.

Prepare to die, Shiggy, just like Hiroshi Yamauchi.

Shigeru Miyamoto:Edit

Oh please; I bet you have Smash Bros. 4 on your wishlist!

Let's turn off the Valve; it's Mario time, bitches!

Super Mario:Edit

Itsa-me; the true video game superstar!

Nintendo's been on top since we were making playing cards!

Just like Surgeon Simulator, you'll be cut up dead!

What kind of mascot is a bald guy with a faucet in his head?

We'll throw a Mario Party in celebration of your defeat!

This battle is as pointless as the Year of Luigi!

Gabe Newell:Edit

MEDIC! Come and give my rhymes an Ubercharge!

It's time to change class and show this loser who we are!


I'm about to slash and gash this Japanese dude's ass,

The greatest first-person shooter while you're trying to button mash!

Just get the int-hell outta here or deal with my Sandman!

I'll wear your ass like a hat, crush you like a Bonk! can!

I've got inventories of weapons and millions of tricks,

'Cause I'm the motherfucking Scout, you're just 8-bit pricks!

Shigeru Miyamoto:Edit

You have no Nintendo Power, yet you think you're a Game Master?

I'll flame you up, Goomba stomp and shoot my Nintendo Zapper!

So prepare to wither and die like the Great Deku Tree,

TF2 was so awful, you had to make it free!

Gabe Newell:Edit

It's taking me a while to make Half Life 3, yes.

But at least I'm not trying to sell a failed 2DS.

You even said yourself, delayed games are eventually better,

But in your case, they'll all just be bad forever.


Who Won?

The poll was created at 20:58 on March 12, 2014, and so far 107 people voted.


  • In a deleted video, ERBParodies News With Scout, It says that he will be in season 2. Scout didn't appear in Season 2, however, but he appeared in this rap battle after switching classes from Medic when he Ubercharged Gabe Newell's rhymes. Scout was going to be in season 2 originally for a different matchup, where he would've fought Ellis from Left 4 Dead 2, and would've been played by The Wuz Shady Filmmaker, but due to complications, that never happened.
  • VideoGameRapBattles and SuperThingsOnCups have both played Mario in the past in their own projects; VGRB played Mario in "Super Smash Bros. VS PlayStation All-Stars", and in his first battle: "Ash Ketchum VS Super Mario." SToC played Mario in an old rap battle of his called "Mario vs Herobrine" and M A R I O (a creepypasta game) in "Sonic.exe VS M A R I O" for his Epic Rap Battles of Creepypasta.
  • The writing process for this battle allegedly took a very long time, making it one of the battles that took the longest time to just write.
  • The ending gag with the ERBParodies logo is a reference to the Portal games, which is never mentioned in the battle itself.
  • This battle is the season 3 premiere, but it was originally planned to be just another battle; the original season 3 premiere was delayed for unknown reasons.
  • In the Soundcloud edition, some people thought that during the line, "Why don't you make a good game and put down the fries!" , they thought he said " Why don't you make your cocaine? Put down the fries!" This is mentioned by B-Lo Lorbes in his review of this battle.
  • In an attempt to more accurately portray Newell,Justin put a pillow under his shirt.This is mentioned by B-Lo Lorbes
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