John Marston vs Niko Bellic - Epic Rap Battle Parodies Season 3

John Marston vs Niko Bellic - Epic Rap Battle Parodies Season 3

John Marston Vs Niko Bellic (Remake)
SoundCloud cover
Battle information
Release date July 22, 2014
Number 49
Views 68,000+ (As of January 16)
Length 3:10
Previous Marshall Mathers vs Slim Shady
Next Eyeless Jack vs Laughing Jack
Other information
Actors Justin Buckner

Nathan Provost

Rappers Bandicam 2015-01-16 16-22-58-548Bandicam 2015-01-16 16-23-27-131Bandicam 2015-01-16 16-23-54-479Bandicam 2015-01-16 16-24-17-333Bandicam 2015-01-16 16-25-22-543
Location(s) Blackwater

Liberty City Beach
Bullworth academy
Darkwater penitentiary
The Mansion

John Marston vs Niko Bellic is the forty-ninth battle of ERBParodies, as well as a remastered version of the original battle with the same name, with a few added twists. It features ruthless cowboy from Red Dead Redemption, John Marston, foreign criminal from Grand Theft Auto IV, Niko Bellic, careless student from Bully, Jimmy Hopkins, vengeful killer from Manhunt, James Earl Cash, and American police detective from Max Payne, Max Payne.


Justin Buckner as John Marston

Nathan Provost as Niko Bellic

fghfdfgdsdbn sfd as Jimmy Hopkins (Audio Only

SuperThingsOnCups as Jimmy Hopkins (Video Only),Bill Williamson(Cameo),Roman Bellic (Cameo)

Froggy as James Earl Cash

Mat4yo as Max Payne

B-Lo Lorbes as Dutch Van der Line (Cameo)

Frenzy as Javier Escuela (Cameo)

Fel as Gary Smith (Cameo)


John Marston:Edit

The name's John Marston, born and raised in Blackwater.

Trained to give immigrant a second case of verbal slaughter.

If I can take out Van der Line, Williamson and Escuela,

All I need to do is point my gun, and you'll flee back to Yugoslavia!

This is deal or revenge, yokel, you're literally done,

You finally get some friends, but you end up killing one!

Tell your overly attached cousin that he'll never get titties,

Run away, Nikolai, I'm taking over Liberty City!

Niko Bellic:Edit

Now it's this petty cowboy against me, and I need no introduction,

You're just Lost and Damned in this Ballad of your destruction!

Only a fool would want to battle me, I'll win Grand Theft Automatically,

I'm richer than this bitch, and I'll achieve this win so practically!

Young and stupid is what you are, and that fact I will enfore,

Why the long face, "pardner"? Is it cause I just ran over your horse?

I cause murder on the mic, I'll rip you into pieces without strife!

I'll bring Havoc on your life, John, and then I'll bang your wife!

Jimmy Hopkins:Edit

Oh, shut up, you guys are boring me more than my classes.

Now let me just skip school for a bit so I can kick both of your asses.

Now Johnny Boy, you’re just a Clint Eastwood wannabe,

Get off your high horse and feel the wrath of this Bully.

Niko, you may have guns but I'll potato launch you to the moon,

You can't steal a car without it blowing up and it doesn't need to move!

It's an Endless Summer of destruction as I beat you down like Gary,

When you drunkards came to Rockstar, it upset me!

Before I bike ride out, and since you're never gonna learn,

I'll scramble you like my English class and make you my B-Words!

James Earl Cash:Edit

This is a ManHunt, without me, it'd just be a WomanHunt.

Call me the Director, 'cause I'm laying down the rules to you cunts!

I'll pierce you with this toothpick if you dare to get pissy.

This defeat will be more frightening than my encounter with Piggsy!

I'll stomp John with MY boots and take down Niko with a punch!

I'll chop you into pieces and give the Cerberus their lunch!

You'll be patrolled like the Hoods, this beating is not reversible,

While you're prancing through mellow, I'll hold the crown for controversial!

Max Payne:Edit

Stop talking, Cash, you kill people because your family's gone.

Let me make this quick people, and then this battle will be done.

My painkillers are at full Max, so you better start running.

Because my game is the one that helps the company with funding.

I’m a cop, bitches, and I’m putting you all under arrest.

I'm an unescapable detective with access to your address.

Max Payne is number one boys, I'm a slo-mo mo-fo.

After I shoot you down with this one bullet, say hello to my daughter Rose.


Who Won?

The poll was created at 21:00 on July 22, 2014, and so far 88 people voted.
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