Steve vs Joe is the ninth installment of ERBParodies. It features former Blue's Clues host, Steve, battling current Blue's Clues host, Joe, to see who is the better Blue's Clues host. It was released March 12, 2013.
Oh no, I'm scared, we got this guy, Stevie,
Getting ready to harm us with his elementary.
Nobody wants to touch your handy-dandy-notebook,
Sit down in your thinking chair and think unlike a crook.
Stop smoking hardcore shrooms, you can't jump through walls.
I mean, Jesus Christ, why the hell do you trip balls?
Don't drop the slippery soap, you'll bend down and repel.
I'll meet you in the bathroom, give you my Joe and Tell.
I'm sitting here thinking "Why the hell are you here?"
Green striped shirt? Ha! You look like a queer.
I feel bad for you, the blue paint's always on the carpet.
I'll kick you out the door like it was a Sparta kick.
Okay, big brother, get out of this TV show,
I'm the host now, BITCH, I'll let you clean the floors.
We just got a letter, I wonder who it's from.
It's probably from that studio telling you that your run is done.
Sit on my thinking chair and grab my handy-dandy-notebook,
I'm surprised you even have a wife judging by your looks.
Let's go find Blue's Clues, here's a clue,
That hairstyle makes you look like a Jew.
They replaced me with you because they felt bad.
Little kids seeing you host makes them sad.
You did not even think about going that far,
I'm sure in 20 years, you'll be drunk at the bar.
I mean, Jesus Christ, you look like a thug now.
I saw Magenta with Blue, boom, pow, pow!
You made an album called "Songs for Dustmites?" LOL!
Sounds like a 12-year-old's words after smoking a bowl.
100 shows? GOD DAMN, looks like a world record!
Sit down in your thinking chair, let me give you a lecture.
Listen bro, okay, you were a good host.
But unfortunately, I'm the one kids like the most.
That's a bunch of bullshit, biggest lie ever!
The time kids bitch about me? Probably never!
Fine, you win. You're a better host, bro.
But that doesn't change the fact that you like a hoe, though.
You look like a freaky guy that's done hardcore drugs.
I talked to Sasha last night, I rocked her jugs!
Oh well, little hoe, I want you to go back to talking to a table,
I'll add it to the list of "Joe's Non-Fascinating Fables"
Nobody even likes you, they bitch about your rotten teeth,
They like Pimp Steve and I think you'd better leave,
Tell that bitch, Magenta, Blue will come back and hunt her,
Oh wait, I take that back, I'm gonna cut her.