Walmart vs Target

Epic Rap Battle Parodies #30 is the thirtieth installment of the Epic Rap Battle Parodies series. It features a super-market store employee, a Walmart Employee, battling against a super-market store employee, Target Employee. It was released November 17, 2013 on SoundCloud was and released November 22, 2013 on YouTube. It is the fourth battle royal.

Download Link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_A_WzbtEqk YouTube video

Cast

SuperCoolGuyJoe as a Target employee

Justin Buckner as a Walmart employee and Paul Blart

Nathan Provost as a Kmart Employee

RLYoshi as a GameStop Employee

LazySundayPaper as a Toys R Us Employee

ChaoticRapBattles as a Sam's Club Employee (audio)

Froggy as a Sam's Club Employee (Video)

MCGamingFTW As a Walgreens Employee

WoodenHornets As a Kroger Employee

HarryPotter2875 As a Costco Employee (audio)

DarkLink4749 as a Costco Employee (video)

Mat4yo As a Mall Security Guard

SuperThingsOnCups as Homeless Guy

B-Lo-Lorbes' zacks channel live and RapsThroughTime (Fel) as random cameos

Lyrics

EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES

WALMART

VERSUS

TARGET

BEGIN

Target Employee:

I expected more from your shitty corporation

But I payed less, you have no high expectations

Always low prices? Bullshit, you know that's a lie

when you sell a pillow for the price of a golden chained tie

Wipe off that smiley face like you did with the retro star

Your deli reeks of a homeless boy who just came out of the bar

Get ready, Wal-Mart, I'm gonna stomp you into a flea market

I'll pull out my bow, because you are my next Target

Wal-Mart Employee:

Talk about pay less when your economy is high

Saying "Here pay 500 bucks for this cherry apple pie!"

You sell expired food, and you're calling me a fraud?

I'm the true superstore, scrap that, supergod

Save money and live better when I kick your ass, I'm lovin' it

Serving you frying rhymes with a Big Mac

I've got prices that go down lower than your mother

I expected more from you, stay on target, you bugger

K-mart Employee:

Attention, Kmart shoppers, we got a special offer, homie

The ass-kicking of Target and Wal-Mart for half price, limited time only

My cold rhymes will surely make you ship your pants

With these big gas savings, you'll be left in a trance

I got a gas station, a car wash, and a café!

This shit ain't about the price tags, yeah, listen to Jessie J

Discount your lines from this battle, Kmart's the one who'll win,

My raps are true bargains, yours just belong in the bin

GameStop Employee:

GameStop it already, you so-called corporations

Before I Bioshock you, Super Smash you like a PlayStation

You think you're superior enough to make everything you sell overpriced?

Have a five-dollar coupon and a Wii Points Card; buy yourself a life

My shops are all over the world with all sorts of awesome names

Micromania, MovieStop, Babbage's, EB Games

I've got an Impulse to tell you all that I'm the greatest retailer

So prepare to get crushed when I bring power to the players

Toys R' Us Employee:

KKKKKKK, yeah, shut the heck up and park it

Go back to your clan, and step out of the black market

I only have to open up my doors and the children come flooding in,

You break, you buy, so you better get on your ass, and start cleaning

You close your shop at 11 to have a break, I'm open all night,

The only time I'd be a customer is to tell you I'm always right

I may be Toys R Us, but this battle belongs to me!

Screw Target and the 'marts, I make little kids happy!

Sam's Club Employee:

You can call me Sam's Club, bitch, I got the ultimate deals

Crushing you puny punks with my bulk, leave you in rubble, for reals

I'll put your ass on blast, you two marts and shit, selling everything on clearance just to market it

I'll start a fit with wits, so let me target this, you motherfuckers should know never to come at this

And GameStop, get real, what's with your shitty ass trades?

I'm attracting buying customers, leave all your stores deserted for days

And what's your giraffe ass gonna do? Splash me with a water gun?

You're just a Toys R' Us Bitch, insert pedophile pun

Walgreen's Employee:

Alright motherfuckers, welcome to Walgreen's

I'm the dopest pharmacy store, that you've done ever seen

I have a hell load of customers, but enough time to fuck you up.

I'll diss every aspect of you, from Wal-Fart to Gay-Stop

What would you guys be without me? Just one pile of shit

My service is twenty times faster, just go on and live with it

We bring pills, ointments and plasters in all kinds of colors

I'll bury you all alive with this shovel, only twenty-five dollars

Kroger Employee:

You cheesy crappy supermarkets ain't seen nothing yet

I've got better products than all of you, we don't even need to bet

What the hell is a Sam's Club? Man, just merge yourself with BJ's

You faggots, you literally proved that stores can be gays

You think you can outnumber me? Ha, you're really out of luck

If you're not satisfied with the product, I don't give a fuck

Toys R Us likes little kids? Huh, what a perv

This final line is like my checkout, cause you just got served

Costco Employee:

Clear your shelves, I'll shut you down, I'll be the number one retailer

I'd say the same for you, but you're all just failures

These rhymes are just a sample of what I can do to you

I'll cream you punks and turn you into quality food

We're VIP, only the best deserve to enter

You drain the souls of all your shoppers just like a Dementor

You can't win, it's impossible; I'm afraid you've lost yo

So drop like my prices and bow down to Costco

Mall Security:

The greatest supermarket coming in, who you gonna call?

If you think you won't fall, then suck this mall's balls

I've been around for ages, yet you call yourself history?

When I was built, all you faggots wanted to come inside of me

Where else can you get a video game and a meal?

A mall is filled with everything, it's pretty much the best deal and

Without me, you guys would all have nowhere to live,

SO be thankful, otherwise I've got no K's to give

Wal-Mart, I got Paul Blart, Target, you're not God.

You aren't o-K-mart and GameStop's just got COD

Step into my food court, you won't be acquitted

Cause you're Walgreen of jealousy, fellas, you're all bitches just admit it

Isn't it a gimmick when you're pinning down the king

You're just little prick thrift shops, who think you can win it

Well it's time to lock up for the night, your shift's done

I've put you all out of business, and there are no refunds

WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

YOU DECIDE!